Learning to Love
by ArwenSolo
Summary: When Han finally proposes to Leia, her answer isn't the one he had hoped for. As their relationship begins to fall apart, how will Leia understand that she could lose the one she loves?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, all...post-ROTJ Han and Leia is one of my favourite subjects, so I figured why not write about it? I've always thought about how Leia's experiences on the Death Star and in the war would affect her later in life, and that is primarily the underlying line of thought in this piece of work. It's still in progress, of course, but I'll have updates posted real soon. Hope you enjoy it - and I appreciate all reviews! ~Arwen Solo**

Leia Organa switched off her datapad and placed it on the desk with a sigh. Her apartment was illuminated by the last rays of the Coruscant sun which streamed in through the east window. It seemed like such a peaceful scene compared to the turmoil within her mind. Bills, speeches, appointments and conferences stared at her from her timetable on the wall. Stifling a yawn, she walked over to the window and sat down on the edge, looking down on the busy streets below.

A knock sounded at the door of the apartment. "Come in," she said briskly, standing up quickly and straightening her dress, hoping that it wasn't Mon Mothma come for an after hours discussion. The white door slid open and Han strode in, grinning. "Hiya, sweetheart!" He took her by the waist and lifted her up for a quick kiss. "How are you?"

"Exhausted," Leia admitted, leaning her head against his bicep. "I never could have dreamed that things would be so busy after the war ended."

"Yeah, well at least you spent most of the day working in your apartment," Han grumbled. "I had to listen to Mothma droning on all morning about post-war efforts."

"Han, be reasonable!" Leia admonished, trying not to laugh at his irreverence. "She only wants what's best for the people, and..." She covered her mouth as another yawn escaped her.

"All right Princess, bedtime," Solo announced, scooping Leia up into his arms and carrying her off to her bedroom. "Han, wait! My reports!" Han laughed and she couldn't help smiling. She loved his laugh. It was reassuring yet teasing but she heard it so rarely, which was all the more reason to savour it. He tossed her onto the broad bed and she rolled over. "Han, seriously. I'm busy right now. Can't we spend time together later?"

He lay down beside her on the bed. "You might know how to hold conferences and braid your hair, sweetheart, but you don't know how to take it easy."

Leia frowned in mild annoyance. "And how do you suggest I take it easy, Capt..." She fell silent as Han captured her lips in a kiss, sliding his hand over her shoulder and pulling her closer. She closed her eyes and ran her hands through his thick hair, never breaking the kiss. When they finally broke apart, Han leaned back onto the pillows and smiled crookedly. "Like that."

Leia ran her thumb over the jagged scar on his chin. "I only wish the effects were permanent."

Han fiddled with a strand of dark hair behind her ear. "They could be."

"What?"

"Why don't we take some time off, Leia? We could go to Naboo or someplace, so you could relax for a while without the Republic all over you."

Leia bit her lip. It sounded so tempting but she couldn't, not with all the reports she had to write up for Rieekan and Mon Mothma. "I'd love to, Han, it's just that..."

"What, you can't leave your office for a few weeks? Seriously sweetheart, you're gonna drive yourself insane."

"Don't be ridiculous," Leia retorted. "I'm perfectly fine."

"You just said you were exhausted."

"I can sleep it off."

"In five hours? I don't think so." Han took the princess by her shoulders. "Come on, just a few weeks. No politicians, no reports, just you and me."

Leia leaned forward and linked her hands around the back of his neck. "Okay, but only three weeks."

Han grinned. "That's my princess. You know, under that ice-cold exterior you really are soft."

She slapped his thigh. "Speak for yourself, flyboy!"

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Han knocked on the door of Luke's apartment. The Jedi opened the door and let him into the plain yet comfortable room. "How are ya, kid?" Han asked, hands in pockets. Luke frowned as he sensed the vibes of anxiety coming from his friend. "I'm fine. Is everything okay with you, Han?"

Han's face was unusually serious. "Luke, I want to marry your sister."

Luke's blue eyes lit up and he grinned. "That's great! When will it be?"

"Well...I haven't proposed to her yet. D'you think she'll say yes?"

"Don't be ridiculous - of course she will. She loves you."

"I know but..." Han looked utterly at a loss. Luke couldn't stop his grin from widening.

"What's so funny?" Han demanded in exasperation.

"Nothing, nothing." Luke forced himself to take on a grave expression. "Seriously, just ask her. You two are made for each other."

"Thanks, kid. Her and I are taking a trip over to Naboo for a while - just the two of us," Han added, somewhat meaningfully.

Luke took the hint. "Good choice. She'll love it."

"Thanks, kid." Han strode out, their conversation still obviously on his mind. Luke sat down on his thick pallet. Leia and Han...man and wife. Leia Organa-Solo. It had taken him a long time to change the way he thought about the princess. He had been completely smitten by the way she was authoritative and strong and beautiful, but when he saw her with Han - how they had softened and shaped each other - he knew that destiny had played its part, and played it well. "Thank you, Ben," he murmured.

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"Are you ready, Leia?" Han called from inside the Falcon.

"Coming," Leia answered from the docking bay. She gave her brother a hug. "Take care, Luke. I still can't believe I actually let Han talk me into this trip," she muttered.

Luke smiled. "You need a break, little sister. And don't worry about me - Chewie will have his eye on me."

Chewie barked from behind Luke. _ Luke always getting into trouble. But not much as cub_.

Leia smiled and picked up her bags. "Goodbye, both of you!" She walked up the ramp of the Falcon and disappeared.

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Han activated the auto-pilot and leaned back in his seat, admiring Leia's slight yet beautiful figure as she sat cross-legged in the chair beside him. His plans to propose to her were weighing heavily on his mind, much more heavily than he'd expected. Who would have thought that the captain who could make the Kessel Run would be nervous about proposing to the woman he loved? He turned his attention back to Leia. She seemed so unaware of her allure as she sat there with her loose braids dangling around her neck and shoulders, and wearing the combat pants and loose shirt she always preferred for casual trips like this one. She looked almost cute - and cute was not a word Han would usually use to describe Leia Organa. He chuckled under his breath and she caught his eye. "What are you thinking of?" she asked, her cheeks colouring. Han slid one arm around her and smirked. Leia rolled her eyes and said sarcastically, "Maybe I shouldn't ask."

"Oh, I'm just thinking about how lucky you are to have a dashing smuggler sitting right next to you."

She slapped his cheek lightly. "You scoundrel."

"And you like scoundrels."

"As I seem to recall, I like nice men."

Han kissed the edge of her mouth. "I'm a nice man." He stood up and surveyed the digital map next to the Falcon's controls. "Mmm, shouldn't be long before we arrive at Naboo now."

"Mon Mothma wasn't exactly pleased about our...vacation," Leia remarked. "I don't know if she want me to keep working on Coruscant or stay away from you...probably both."

"Not much chance of either of those," Han said, winking at her over his shoulder. "Besides, you've got your own life to live and she can't make your personal choices for you."

"Try explaining that to her," Leia answered. "But you're right, I suppose." She made her way over to him and snaked a hand around his waist. "I can't stay away from you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is Chapter 2! Sorry about the long wait, but enjoy!**

Naboo was as beautiful as it had ever been when Han and Leia arrived. Leia walked behind Han down the Falcon's ramp and onto the enormous main docking bay of Theed, feeling like a clumsy schoolgirl and hoping Han had chosen a good setting. It was unlike him to take the initiative for something like a vacation...but then again, she had never suggested one. "Where exactly is the resort?" she queried.

"Oh it's, you know, out of town." Han waved a hand to his right vaguely. At the nonplussed expression on her face he grinned. "Don't worry, everything's under control. Look, here's our transport." A large, silver pod car was approaching them and Han gestured for the driver to stop. The man opened the hatch of the control seat. "Welcome to Naboo, Princess Organa and General Solo."

Leia smiled courteously and stepped into the passenger seat carrying her large bag and Han's rather small one. Han climbed in after her, draped one arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, and they settled back for the long ride.

The trip was about three hours long but it was worth it, as Leia soon discovered. The resort featured rolling green fields and untouched forest. The cabins, as the driver informed them, were few and far between so as to allow for 'maximum privacy'. "I'm beginning to appreciate this vacation of ours already, Han," Leia said with a smile as they made their way towards the cabin. The sun was still high in the sky, but the afternoon was cool and breezy. "We could go for a swim down there," Han suggested slyly, nodding toward the clear lake at the foot of the hill. Leia blushed.

The cabin was as lovely as its surroundings, with a wide bed stocked with soft pillows and a polished wooden dining set. When they had finished unpacking their belongings, Han and Leia walked down to the lake. Leia had changed out of her old combat uniform and into a simple yet flattering green dress. She sat by the edge of the lake and Han soon joined her. "I admit it, it's beautiful," she conceded grudgingly. "Thanks for making me take this trip."  
"Anytime, Princess," Han grinned, stretching out on the thick, lush grass. Leia seized the moment to take in his rugged manliness as he lay there, wearing just a pair of blue trunks. He was clearly relaxed and happy and at home, and he looked good doing it too. This break was good for both of them, she decided silently.

"I thought we'd agreed about no nicknames," she said finally, letting her toes touch the surface of the water. "I don't see myself as a princess, not anymore."

Han propped himself up on one elbow. "It's not a nickname, Leia. It's who you are to me." He stared into the distance as he spoke and Leia frowned. "Something on your mind, Han?"

"What? Oh, nothing."

She looked at him disbelievingly, then decided to let the matter rest for the time being and turned her gaze back to the water.

Their dinner was traditional Naboo cuisine that evening. Han wasn't sure he liked it but apart from that he was already enjoying himself - especially because Leia was relaxed and happy to be there with him. She couldn't seem to get enough of the lake. They had gone swimming there earlier that afternoon but even after that she was content to sit there for hours. Maybe there had been a lake like that on Alderaan, but Han didn't intend on asking about it. Leia was happier than she had been in a long time. The metallic sound of cutlery brought him back to his senses. "I'm going back down to the lake for a while," Leia announced as she set down her fork. "You coming?"

"Sure," Han agreed. "I picked a great spot, didn't I, sweetheart?"

Leia rolled her eyes, trying to hold back a smile. "You don't have to rub it in!" She opened the door of the cabin, letting in the first hint of starlight, and headed downhill.

By the time Han reached her, Leia was sitting cross-legged by the lake, her hands folded in her lap. She had let down her hair for once, and it tumbled over her shoulders and back in loose curls. He sat down next to her. "It's wonderful, isn't it?" she said softly. "The water. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," Han told her. She turned to face him. "Han..."

"No, I mean it. You're beautiful." He leaned forward and their lips met in a gentle kiss. When they broke apart she rested a hand on his cheek and smiled faintly. Han swallowed the lump in his throat. "Leia, would you...will you marry me?" he asked softly.

Her hand fell away from his face and her dark eyes widened, glistening unnaturally in the light of the moon. "Oh Han...don't, please."

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Han's heart began to race. Leia averted her gaze. "I can't marry you. I'm sorry."

Han was too shocked to speak. For all his nervousness he had had no doubt that she would say yes. _ I'm not good enough for her. Is that it? Why didn't I think this through?_ "Why not?" he asked finally.

"I can't tell you." She stood up quickly, her dress swishing around her ankles. "Goodnight, Han."

Han watched her walk up the hill towards the cabin. It was a long time before he followed.

When he eventually entered the cabin, Leia was seated on the floor in the corner, hugging her knees. "Coming to bed?" he ventured quietly. She looked at him as though he was a complete stranger. "No," she whispered. "I'll just stay here tonight."

Han considered leaving her there but something stopped him. "You should get some sleep, Leia," he insisted.

"I'll just stay here tonight," she repeated stiffly.

"Alright then. Goodnight." His whole body felt numb as he climbed into bed. How was he supposed to feel? Angry? Upset? Or just disappointed? Feeling the second blanket beneath the quilt, he pulled it out and made his way over to where Leia still sat. He tucked it around Leia, whose body felt strangely cold. As he moved away she gripped his hand. "Thank you." There was nothing for him to say in reply. He nodded quickly and returned to the empty bed.


End file.
